He answers all our burning Olive Garden questions

The Olive Garden is an American institution. It’s basically the McDonald’s of Italian food and makes many a fabled claim about its service and food. That’s why when one man had the chance to chat up the former manager of an OG, he dug deep to unearth answers to the questions we all have.

Joe Wadlington was presented with the opportunity of the century when the guy he went on a date with last week turned out to be a former Olive Garden manager. And not just any Olive Garden. The granddaddy of Olive Gardens. The Times Square OG, aka, the big dance for chain restaurant managers.

Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Wadlington decided to milk this date for all it was worth and to find answers to our burning OG questions in a hilarious Twitter thread.

First, he solved the biggest mystery of all.

Ohio understands the importance of the breadsticks, apparently.

This question has often plagued me too when I walk through Times Square and see the glittering chain restaurants. You are in the food capital of the country. Why pay a zillion dollars for the same fettuccine alfredo you can get at home for a fraction of the price? He’s asking the hard-hitting questions here, folks.

This I can personally attest to as the Times Square OG was the obvious choice for my 14th birthday trip to New York City. Every kid thinks Olive Garden is the fanciest and my mom was kind enough to humor me.I remember being enthralled by the multiple levels of seating and the endless breadsticks, enough to feed all of NYC. You know, except that one time they ran out.

And who hasn’t pondered whether someone’s tried this heroic feat?

And then, the drama we were all hoping for. A literally Olive Garden brawl.

We are not at all surprised. Now, hang on tight for the surprise ending.

So it turns out, that’s just a Jane Eyre quote, but Scary Mommy had a quick chat with Joe and he says though they’re not married yet, there will definitely be a second date between him and the former OG boss. Let’s hope he live tweets that too, because we are now super invested.